Statuses

1.  Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist. While you guys were arguing about the glass of water. I drank it. - The Opportunist
   
2. I bet You will save a hell of a lot of money on Christmas by switching to single.
   
3. Thanks to ads all over sites, I now have 32 iPhones, 100,000,000$ and three dates tonight!
   
4. You do not need a clock to know that you overslept 3 hours for that important meeting. When you wake up, something in the air just screams "You are SO f*cked."
   
5. If a telemarketer calls give the phone to your 3 yr old, and tell them its Santa Clause